A Sudden Change Of Track

 Well, those of you who do follow my occasional bloggings will possibly be confused by the sudden change of title and bio! This is to reflect two things - Firstly, this is now the combined blog and any and all things will be in here. The Zaks Garden, Long Distance Walking blogs etc, will not be updated. Secondly, it reflects the huge life changes that i am currently undertaking - some willingly, others most definitely not asked for!

Rest assured, along with the more serious archiving of my day to day experiences and thoughts on these matters, there will still be plenty of random guff, details of faults and repairs, pics of chickens, and all the usual crackers rubbish you've come to expect!

So, whats all this about life changes? Well this last month has been a real crippler. First off, at the realization that my current job after 16 years, with the last likely major infrastructure project coming to an end, was something I could no longer hold any enthusiasm for, in fact, was beginning to actually loath, along with turning 45 and the thought that unless I break away and push myself out of this comfortable, slow but stressful situation and go after my ambitions, I was going to be stuck until the end of my career resetting GPRS comms fails and bemoaning the loss of the good old days of Black and Syncs, it was time to move on. 

Actually, although not impacted this year, its possible the current restructuring would have me out the door with nowhere to go within the next two years anyway! So, a little while ago, I started the ball rolling on a major career change...

...and applied for Teacher Training! I am now one of the 2021 cohort with White Rose Alliance, my DBS clearance complete, student finance arranged, bursary applied for. I wont say "all set to start in September" as that would imply I felt ready! I will say starting in September, and working towards being if not actually ready, then at ease with the prospect!

So, having finally been able to click that tempting "resign" button in Oracle HCM, I leave behind a 21 year career in Public Safety Radio (DTELS/ntl), and Terrestrial Broadcasting (Arqiva) at the end of July. No more weekend shifts*, no more 12h nights! Maybe i'll now be able to again know both which day it is and what date it is! This is a quite staggering leap though. Since leaving college with an OND in Electrical and Electronic Engineering, some 26 years ago, i've been employed continuously in engineering, ive only worn a tie for interviews, and a full suit for weddings and funerals! I now find I have to dress professionally, can no longer shave just once a week, and probably far more critically, can no longer use expletives as punctuation in conversation! (now thats going to take some getting used to!). I also have the prospect of suddenly dropping from the heights of 20% shift allowance pay monthly, to loans and bursary, paid in three installments, and considerably less in total!

Leaving at the end of the month gives me August to study and improve my subject knowledge. Oh, by the way, my specialism is to be Chemistry, though I suspect general sciences will be more core. However, I dont have much time even then! as August is rapidly filling up with voluntary work in school, charity walks, and a family holiday.

Ive already had cause to perform some deep personal reflection as a result of taking this chance. At yesterdays Induction meeting, I made rather an appalling faux pas during an 'apple throwing game', failing to recall and correctly handle an item of prior but critical information when put under pressure. No actual harm done, but it was quite upsetting for me to fail in such a way.

Personal reflection brings me neatly to the next matter, and why this month has been so bad for me. At the start of the month, I received, or perhaps should say obtained, some deeply personal and horrifically hurtful news. I dont wish to go into detail, suffice to say, my entire world view, emotional stability and core beliefs have been shattered. A month on, and im  essentially an emotional write-off. Some of this may come out occasionally in my writings. This isnt the sort of thing that will go away after a short while either, recovering from this may take me months, years, perhaps never. It could lead me into a whole new life direction.

Add then, the disruption to an expensive fence contract for over a week due to a dispute with the neighbours what resulted in having to be inspected by the local police wildlife officer; the failure of the £50 central heating pump which due to being for some bizarre reason buried in the kitchen floor has resulted in a £4000 new boiler; needing to swap the Buck Converter feeding my dashcams due to the old ones EMC failure wiping out the broadcast radio (so more upside down soldering in the passenger footwell); and the failure of the car boot to lock - that solenoid changed last time was siezed - its been a bit of a mixed month for me really.

So what now? Well, probably not every day, but i'll document on here how this all progresses. Some things, like how the training is going, might be detailed but moany. Others, might by necessity be vague and ponderous, but might help my overcome some issues, or at least make sense of them.