No Enthusiasm

 Ive not posted on here for quite some time. What with the Covid-19 lock-downs, the unprecidented and unbelievable scene of the control of the nations radio and TV being effected by dispersed engineer-operators working from home (myself included - I carried out one of the initial tests of the system), the travel restrictions, the cancellation of fairs, rallies, and other events, and then the sheer confusion and inconvenience of returning to working from the office....

...I just cant be bothered!

This is true, I seem to have lost all enthusiasm for not just radio and electronics, but pretty much everything other than reading and taking long baths. (this is itself is nothing unusual - ive lost interest many times before, however those times have usually coincided with life events, for instance losing interest in radio during the years I serviced public safety radio systems) The only odd thing is that this time, the loss of enthusiasm is making me anxious.

I still have many projects on the go, but I just cant bring myself to get on with any of them. I do recognise that this is a detrimental aspect of my mental health, although im rather glad that it isnt manifesting itself in the form of panic attacks! Oddly, as a result of working from home using telephony headsets and with without people close by, my telephobia has actually improved. I seem somewhat more confident and able to use the phone with less hesitation and worry, even, I feel, to perhaps having a bit of time out portable with a nice bit of HF combat net radio!

Of course, much of my current state may be attributed to the drugs im using to control other symptoms. These include some rather potent controlled substances, plus a few 'special' molecules, and are helping me overcome the insomnia, and settling down the Willis-Ekbom. Unfortunately they are also allowing me to observe and analyze life from a 3rd person perspective.

I do feel that I need to get back into some level of radio though. Not from the shack though I feel, but perhaps portable, a little SOTA maybe. Little by little myself and Bob M1BBV have managed to find slots to get a little walking in, so a few SOTA activations may be on the horizon. If nothing else, I need to get out and have some time in the wild open countryside.

I just need the motivation and inspiration to get started!

There will be more interesting posts eventually, I assure you (whoever you are, although I doubt I have many 'followers') but for now, like almost everything in life, its a case of keeping distance, and waiting.